In bloom

So we plan for an overseas trip this year. There's a special money box starting to fill.

Then this happens...


17 weeks pregnant! (Well, this pic is from 12 weeks but there's not much difference right now.)

It feels a little strange to be writing about this as one of my more recent posts was talking about pregnancy in a very different way. We had pretty much given up on having kids after trying for over 18 months. We had figured kids just weren’t in the big picture for us. After lots of talking and thinking, we were cool with that. There are so many other parts to life that are lovely and worthwhile. We planned a trip to France and started saving. It is something I have always wanted to do and will still do, perhaps a little later than I would have liked. I have an intense desire to not become like poor Lucy Jordan - “at the age of 37, she realised she’d never ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair”. It’s so easy to let your own needs and desires get pushed to the side in order to meet other people’s needs. I still aim to get to France (and the Grand Canyon for that matter) in the next five years. I don’t want to stop living my life just because we have a child. I think it will make us better parents to keep living rich and full lives.

After so many months of trying to get pregnant, we feel humbled that is has actually happened to us. It is not something we take for granted at all. I have a good understanding of how hard it is to see (what seems like) everyone else easily getting pregnant while you continue to wait and wait. So I observe this pregnancy with a quiet reverie and grateful regard. It hasn’t been easy these first few months and I’ve had awful nausea for most of it. I haven’t felt like doing anything – writing, sewing, reading – none of it. I’ve been lying on the couch for the last three months! Thankfully, things are calming down with the nausea and I’ve started to have many more good days amongst the bad. It’s such a silly trick of nature – making you so hungry yet nauseous at the same time. Craziness!

So far, we’ve seen our baby twice over ultrasound. It is SO mind blowing seeing that tiny person bouncing around. We have another appointment in early March when we will get to find out if it is a boy or girl. We have slight insiders knowledge on what it could be but will wait for definite confirmation before announcing anything. We will be happy with either as we are hoping more for a healthy, happy baby. I think that’s all anyone can really ask for.

Let’s see what this new adventure holds…